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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28666110">gold rush</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlytherinShakespeare/pseuds/SlytherinShakespeare'>SlytherinShakespeare</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>evermore [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>EastEnders (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 04:40:53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,257</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28666110</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlytherinShakespeare/pseuds/SlytherinShakespeare</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A Ballum oneshot going through their relationship to the lyrics of Taylor Swift's gold rush.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>evermore [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2100840</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>gold rush</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is my first fic so please be gentle! I've tried to more or less follow canon but I haven't watched in a while so I might have missed some stuff. Sorry if the formatting is iffy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em>Gleaming </em><br/>
<em>Twinkling </em><br/>
<em>Eyes like sinking ships </em><br/>
<em>On waters so inviting </em><br/>
<em>I almost jump in</em><br/>
<br/>
***</p><p><br/>
Callum could remember the first moment he set eyes on Ben Mitchell, sat across the bar with a cocky grin on his face.</p><p>He remembers thinking that he would run away with that man, if he let him. But he’s straight, he’s got a girlfriend, he’s doing what’s expected of him.</p><p>He hasn’t got time to fall for a man who walks through town like a hurricane. It would destroy him to fall for Ben. But of course, he’s already fallen. And sometimes, Callum thinks that maybe, just maybe, he could weather the storm with Ben.</p><p>***</p><p>
  <em>I don't like a gold rush, gold rush </em><br/>
<em>I don't like anticipating my face in a red flush </em><br/>
<em>I don't like that anyone would die to feel your touch </em><br/>
<em>Everybody wants you </em><br/>
<em>Everybody wonders what it would be like to love you </em><br/>
<em>Walk past, quick brush </em><br/>
<em>I don't like slow motion double vision in rose blush </em><br/>
<em>I don't like that falling feels like flying till the bone crush </em><br/>
<em>Everybody wants you </em><br/>
<em>But I don't like a gold rush<br/>
</em>
</p><p>***</p><p>Everyone loves Callum. Ben has known this since they met. Before, even. He’s like sunshine, bringing pure gold into the life of everyone he ever encounters.<br/>
<br/>
Ben hates it. How are you supposed to stay angry at someone that full of light?<br/>
<br/>
Not that Ben is angry at Callum, he’s worried. He knows the look in the other man’s eye, knows it’s just a matter of time before he admits to himself what Ben already knows.<br/>
<br/>
The problem with Callum is that he’s full of selflessness and self-sacrifice and Ben just knows that he will sacrifice every scrap of his own happiness to keep others happy. Ben knows he’s too selfish, knows he takes what he wants and burns bridges along the way. But he’s <em>trying</em> dammit.<br/>
<br/>
He’s trying to be a good man, someone Lexi is proud to call her father, someone Lola and Jay can rely on, instead of having to clean up his messes all the time. He wants to be selfless and good like Callum, but he just isn’t like that. So he tries to be a good man in whatever way he can manage. Sometimes he thinks he could help Callum, that they could help each other. Ben could teach Callum to love himself and say no, and Callum could temper Ben’s hard edges. Maybe, in another life, Callum would shine brightest around him.</p><p>***</p><p>
  <em>What must it be like </em><br/>
<em>To grow up that beautiful? </em><br/>
<em>With your hair falling into place like dominoes</em>
</p><p>***<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Callum doesn’t know why he’s come to this park in the middle of the night.<br/>
<br/>
He just knows it feels like something he has to do, something that will show him who he is.<br/>
<br/>
He sees Ben’s face in the moonlight and he knows. He tries to cover it with empty words until he just lets the truth tumble from his lips.<br/>
<br/>
Ben catches it. He wants to live in this moment, wrapped up in Ben in the freezing cold at the dead of night. He wants nothing more.<br/>
<br/>
***<br/>
<br/>
<em>I see me padding across your wooden floors </em><br/>
<em>With my Eagles t-shirt hanging from the door </em><br/>
<em>At dinner parties </em><br/>
<em>I call you out on your contrarian shit</em><br/>
<br/>
***</p><p>Months have passed and Callum can’t believe his luck. He’s spending days with his new family, finally in the kind of relationship his soul has been searching for. He’s invited on family outings, persuaded into helping Lexi bake and dragged on nights out when Lola’s had a rough day at work.<br/>
<br/>
As he sits at the table watching Lexi turn her dad’s sass right back at him, he knows this is where he’s meant to be. His heart has never been more full.</p><p><br/>
<em>***</em>
</p><p><em> And the coastal town<br/>
We wandered round had never<br/>
Seen a love as pure as it<br/>
And then it fades into the gray of my day-old tea<br/>
'Cause it could never be <br/>
</em><br/>
***<br/>
<br/>
Ben knew it could never last. He knew that Callum deserved a chance to fall in love properly, with someone that only amplifies his light instead of dimming it. It breaks his heart to do it, but really he’s just bowing to the inevitable. He waits until he’s turned away to let the tears come and holds himself together long enough to fall into bed, broken and sobbing himself to sleep.<br/>
<br/>
***<br/>
<em> 'Cause I don't like a gold rush, gold rush<br/>
I don't like anticipating my face in a red flush<br/>
I don't like that anyone would die to feel your touch<br/>
Everybody wants you<br/>
Everybody wonders what it would be like to love you<br/>
Walk past, quick brush I don't like slow motion double vision in rose blush<br/>
I don't like that falling feels like flying till the bone crush<br/>
Everybody wants you<br/>
And I don't like a gold rush</em><br/>
<br/>
***<br/>
<br/>
Callum doesn’t want to go on a date. He knows his heart is still with Ben.<br/>
<br/>
He’s so terrified of dating but the guy’s got a nice smile and he’s in the job Callum wants for himself. He’s a sweet guy and in another life Callum would leap at the opportunity.<br/>
<br/>
But he can’t string someone along, especially not when this guy knows he’s not over his ex and has given him such an easy out. He just wants Ben, however hard he fights against the feeling.<br/>
<br/>
Then he steps out of the Albert and his heart is in his mouth watching little Lexi cheer her dad up. What did he do wrong?<br/>
<br/>
***<br/>
<br/>
<em> What must it be like<br/>
To grow up that beautiful?<br/>
With your hair falling into place like dominoes<br/>
My mind turns your life into folklore </em><br/>
<br/>
***<br/>
<br/>
Ben is drunk and tired and thinking of Callum. Thinking of the last time Callum was above him with Ben’s hands tangled in his hair.<br/>
<br/>
It hurts so much. He knows what he had and he knows why he had to let it go but that doesn’t make it hurt any less.<br/>
<br/>
His heart is still breaking and he has to pretend it isn’t every day.<br/>
<br/>
He falls asleep to the thought of Callum’s arms wrapped around him, wishing he could wake up to him again.<br/>
<br/>
***<br/>
<br/>
<em> I can't dare to dream about you anymore<br/>
</em><em>At dinner parties I won't call you out on your contrarian shit<br/>
</em><em>And the coastal town<br/>
</em><em>We never found will never<br/>
</em><em>See a love as pure as it<br/>
</em><em>'Cause it fades into the gray of my day-old tea<br/>
</em><em>'Cause it will never be </em><br/>
<br/>
***<br/>
<br/>
Ben has to leave. He knows he does, but it doesn’t make it any better. It never does.</p><p>He can't hold on to hope that it might work for him this time. </p><p>He’s broken his own heart over and over but knowing that he’s going to break Lexi’s is more than he can bear.<br/>
<br/>
Saying goodbye to the parts of his family who love him back feels so wrong. He’s leaving his brother, his best friend and his daughter.<br/>
<br/>
He might as well be leaving his heart behind.<br/>
<br/>
***<br/>
<br/>
<em>Gleaming </em><br/>
<em>Twinkling </em><br/>
<em>Eyes like sinking ships </em><br/>
<em>On waters so inviting </em><br/>
<em>I almost jump in</em><br/>
<br/>
***<br/>
<br/>
He runs across the square, towards the sun he’s been orbiting since they met.<br/>
<br/>
He pours out his heart and then they’re kissing and it’s like his world has burst back into colour.<br/>
<br/>
He hears a little voice calling for him and he spins Lexi around . He’s never been happier to see her.<br/>
<br/>
“I’m staying where I belong.”<br/>
<br/>
And this time, he means it.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you so much for reading! You can find me on tumblr at slytherin-shakespeare - inbox me if you'd like my private writing tumblr:) I haven't re-read it so if you pick up any typos please let me know!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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